the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
