I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
