I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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