Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
