my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
cat food counts as protein by the way
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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