At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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