I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
