Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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