she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
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Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
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And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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