No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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