My first STD was from a foam party
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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