...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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