I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
