I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
