A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
