there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
