found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize