she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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