If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
