2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
