He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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