He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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