the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Verdict: uncircumcised.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
