yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
