Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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