Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
