Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
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this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
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My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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