first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
