i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize