I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
