I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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