well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
