Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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