Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
