Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I need a burrito and a hug.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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