dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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