I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
