just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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