The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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