i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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