I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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