May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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