idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
