I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
