I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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