Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
