whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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