Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
