I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
