yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
