Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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