the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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