The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
