ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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