Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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