I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Terrible idea I love it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
