You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
