meet me or not, i'm out of control
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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